So in the midst of looking for articles that would help someone learn social skills, I came across another site after leaving the EHow site.

This one was a lot of fun! Sandbox Learning allows you to customize and make your own book FOR FREE  for your younger child to help with Social Skills. 

There are many social skill sites out there. You just have to search for them. I would love to hear your comments on these past few posts and if you have any social skill sites or books that you know are good, please share them!

When a person has trouble with social skills, the first problem usually is knowing how to have a conversation with someone else. These steps will help in that.

How to Have a Great Conversation

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

The art of conversation takes practice, and is not as hard as you might think. It will take some knowledge, practice, and patience, and you can learn to relax and enjoy a great conversation.

Steps

1. Listen. This is the most important part of any conversation. Pay attention to what is being said. Make acknowledging noises or movements to indicate that you are still listening. A conversation will not go anywhere if you are too busy thinking of anything else, including what you plan to say next. If you listen well, the other person’s statements will suggest questions for you to ask. Allow the other person to do most of the talking. They will often not realize that it was they who did most of the talking, and you get the credit for being a good conversationalist - which of course, you are!
2. Find out what the other person is interested in. You can even do some research in advance when you know you will have an opportunity to talk with a specific person. Complimenting them is a great place to start. Everyone likes sincere compliments, and that can be a great ice-breaker.
3. Ask questions. What do they like to do? What sort of things have they done in their lives? What is happening to them now? What did they do today or last weekend? Identify things about them that you might be interested in hearing about, and politely ask questions. Remember, there was a reason that you wanted to talk to them, so obviously there was something about them that you found interesting. However, try to space out your questions or they’ll feel like you’re interrogating them which is very bad and closes off friendships.
4. Forget yourself. Dale Carnegie once said, “It’s much easier to become interested in others than it is to convince them to be interested in you.” If you are too busy thinking about yourself, what you look like, or what the other person might be thinking, you will never be able to relax. Introduce yourself, shake hands, then forget yourself and focus on them instead.
5. Practice active listening skills. Part of listening is letting the other person know that you are listening. Make eye contact. Nod. Say “Yes,” “I see,” “That’s interesting,” or something similar to give them clues that you are paying attention and not thinking about something else - such as what you are going to say next.
6. Ask clarifying questions. If the topic seems to be one they are interested in, ask them to clarify what they think or feel about it. If they are talking about an occupation or activity you do not understand, take the opportunity to learn from them. Everyone loves having a chance to teach another willing and interested person about their hobby or subject of expertise.
7. Paraphrase back what you have heard, using your own words. This seems like an easy skill to learn, but takes some practice to master. Conversation happens in turns, each person taking a turn to listen and a turn to speak or to respond. It shows respect for the other person when you use your “speaking turn” to show you have been listening and not just to say something new. They then have a chance to correct your understanding, affirm it, or embellish on it.
8. Consider your response before disagreeing. If the point was not important, ignore it rather than risk appearing argumentative. If you consider it important then politely point out your difference of opinion. Do not disagree merely to set yourself apart, but remember these points:
   • It is the differences in people–and their conversation–that make them interesting.
   • Agreeing with everything can kill a conversation just as easily as disagreeing with everything.
   • A person is interesting when they are different from you; a person is obnoxious when they can not agree with anything you say, or if they use the point to make themselves appear superior.
   • Try to omit the word “but” from your conversation when disagreeing as this word often puts people on the defensive. Instead, try substituting the word “and”, it has less of an antagonistic effect.
9. Consider playing devil’s advocate - which requires care. If your conversation partner makes a point, you can keep the conversation going by bringing up the opposite point of view (introduce it with something like “I agree, and…”). If you overuse this technique, however, you could end up appearing disagreeable or even hostile.
10. Do not panic over lulls. This is a point where you could easily inject your thoughts into the discussion. If the topic seems to have run out, use the pause to think for a moment and identify another conversation topic or question to ask them. Did something they said remind you of something else you have heard, something that happened to you, or bring up a question or topic in your mind? Mention it and you’ll transition smoothly into further conversation!
11. Know when the conversation is over. Even the best conversations will eventually run out of steam or be ended by an interruption. Smile if you’re leaving, and tell them you can’t wait to talk to them again soon. Ending on a positive note will leave a good impression and likely bring them back later for more!
12. Make a good first impression. Smile, ask questions that require more than a yes/no answer, and really listen. Maintain eye contact and keep as friendly and polite as possible.

Video

Tips

• If, after the conversation concludes, you come away feeling full of yourself there is a chance you maneuvered the talk to serve your own agenda and steam-rolled your counterpart. You used the occasion to show off your wit and knowledge. Try to keep from using a conversation to boost your ego.
• Try to get them talking about something they enjoy thinking about and something that you’re interested in hearing or else the conversation isn’t fulfilling and one of you will feel unsatisfied with it.
• Don’t be worried about the conversation and where it will go. People have natural conversation reflexes built into them. Why can’t you ever remember how a good conversation started? The reason is because you had a conversation starter and then you let the reflexes kick in. This made the conversation transition smoothly, enjoyably, and naturally. Thinking too much will make an awkward conversation that is difficult to keep going.
• The best conversations come from gaining new understanding about the topic discussed or the person. Try to lead into personal stories and anecdotes. These give limitless conversation and are revealing about the character of a person.
• It’s okay to talk about yourself some as long as the person listening is interested and getting new information about you or the topic. People don’t like to rehash things they already know or have thought about so try to give a new perspective or way of thinking if you’re the one speaking.
• Always think before you speak. Do not take a long time to answer but listen well to keep on the right track with the conversation. Try not to make an embarrassing mistake, such as giving an opinion which may disrespect someone else. Choose your words carefully, but do not create pointless silences by keeping your conversation partner waiting for 5 minutes before you answer a simple question.
• Remember that sometimes if a conversation isn’t going well, it might not be your fault! Sometimes the other person is distracted/lost in thought, isn’t willing to contribute, or is having a bad day. If they don’t speak or listen, then they are the ones not using good conversation skills, not you.

Warnings

• Choose carefully when asking personal questions. You do not want to venture into overly personal issues. Even if the other person might be willing to talk about it, you may end up learning things that you really do not want to know. You certainly do not want the other person to think afterward that you coerced them into revealing personal information.
• Be sincere! Compliments are great, but too much flattery is obvious and will reveal you as being insincere.
• Beware of topics that can be inflammatory - such as religion and politics - and don’t venture into them unless you know the person has roughly the same convictions as you, or the circumstances otherwise allow for pleasant discussion. Again, it’s fine to disagree and can be nice to talk about differences, but it can also be a quick step toward an argument.
• Try not to argue! You do not have to agree with everything someone says, but you do not have to tell them all about how you disagree. If you feel the need to explain an opposing viewpoint, express it simply and without putting the other person on the defensive. It is better to simply change the subject in a casual conversation than to get involved in an argument.
• Try not to nod or respond with “Yes”, “I see”, or “OK” so much. It might make the person feel that you are bored and may sometimes seem like you are rushing them along. Never say anything hurtful or offensive to the other person, this may project a bad feeling between you.
• If it is a planned conversation, try listening to the news in case you run out of things to say; it is always a good solution.
• Also try not to cut the person off mid-sentence. It seems disrespectful and it makes it seem like you think that what you have to say is more important than what others have to say. Let the person finish their thoughts and then continue on with thoughts of your own.

Related wikiHows

• How to Start a Conversation when You Have Nothing to Talk About
• How to Write a Speech
• How to Lead a Discussion
• How to Make Friends All over the World
• How to Join a Conversation
• How to Come up With Good Conversation Topics

Sources and Citations

• Emily Post on “Conversation Etiquette”
• Talking with Children, from Family Fun Magazine
• The Fine Art of Small Talk, by Debra Fine
• http://www.afraid-of-speaking-a-speech.com/conversationstartertopics.html
• Develop better conversation skills

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Have a Great Conversation. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

How to Be Social at a Party

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Many people are cautious around other people. They don’t want to interrupt others since it is considered rude, and they are often worried that they might choose the wrong group of people to be friendly with, so they have difficulty being social with anybody.

Steps

1. Look approachable. Do not cross your arms, this sends an uninviting vibe to someone who may want to come up and talk to you. Look open and inviting with a genuine smile.
2. Mingle and talk to new people as they arrive. Ask to be introduced, or do it yourself!
3. Enjoy yourself and show it. Smile, and if you see a person enter who obviously does not know anyone, walk over to them, and bring them over to the group you are talking to.
4. Include others. When you’re in a conversation with other people and someone new walks up, look at him or her, smile and turn your body so that the group includes the newcomer.
5. Fill newcomers in on what the group has been talking about. Avoid discussing obscure interests or work, and stick to conversations everyone can enjoy: Sports, music, festivals, current events, etc. Ask everyone to recommend a favorite restaurant, movie or museum. Keep the conversation light and fun.
6. Invite others to help you. If you have a guest who’s not mingling well, invite them to help you check on the punch or even allow them to help you fix the punch.

Tips

• Look nice. This is helpful in gaining the confidence of others.
• Be fun and energetic for others (this is what makes it fun for you too), but don’t push yourself too hard. Get “rest” between conversations or casually move among more intense and more relaxed conversations. As you get better at being self-sacrificial and social, your energy level and breadth of personality will grow. It is all about having fun.
• If you enjoy solitude, there is nothing wrong with that. Life is too short to stay in uncomfortable situations. At the very least, be yourself. You may want to share with others about what you do or gain in solitude, as well. People will understand you better, and they may even learn from you.
• Ask questions about others; don’t just focus on yourself. You have a mouth, but you have twice as many eyes and ears. If you can pick up on that, being successfully social becomes a whole lot better.
• Search for something about someone else you can connect with. You have more things in common with most people than you might think.
• Introduce yourself to other people, and get to know their names. When others enter the room (or the conversation), you can say things like, “Jim…have you met Sally? She’s a history teacher and she’s just moved to Chicago.”
• When making conversation, try to avoid asking questions that have yes or no answers, like “Do you live here in Chicago?” Instead, ask “How did you end up living here in Chicago?” or start conversations with “Tell me about…” This approach will create more opportunities for discussion and will keep the conversation going.
• Now is not the time for reminiscing or making “inside jokes” with a few close buddies. This is impolite to others who will be left out of your conversation. If you meet an old friend at a party and old memories come up, ask them out to dinner another night to catch up on old times, and steer the conversation back to the present.
• Move around the party and try to talk to everyone.

Warnings

• Don’t be a phony! People recognize insincerity immediately.
• Don’t sit on a couch and wait for people to come to you. Get out and start conversations.

Related wikiHows

• How to Socialize, Be Funny and Make Friends
• How to Throw a Progressive Dinner Party
• How to Quickly Make an Alcoholic Party Punch
• How to Become Sociable
• How to Not Always Talk About the Same Things
• How to Be Fashionable at a Pool Party

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Be Social at a Party. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

How to Become Sociable

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

To improve your social skills, you must start with yourself. Bear in mind that you are the only one who can help. It is very good to be sociable, but you must take action and practice.

Steps

1. Make eye contact. A sliver of self-confidence goes a long way, so try to believe in yourself.
2. Talk to others around you. Ask questions, tell jokes, do whatever it takes to start a conversation.
3. Remember the E word: Empathy! Ask people about themselves. People love to talk about themselves and what they’re interested in. Try to draw them out, find common interests, and sympathize with their problems.
4. Remember the F word: FUN!! If people think you’re fun, they will enjoy your company.
5. Put in the effort. When you are at home, call friends and talk to them on the phone.
6. Always try to accept others’ offers and invitations and be with them. Also make invitations to others; it’s a good way to show people you enjoy them and they’ll like you for it.
7. Don’t be by yourself all the time! If you don’t know a lot of people you’re around, just walk over and start talking. Most likely, they will talk back to you.
8. Mix up your routine. Sit with different people at dinner or lunch, not just the same one or two friends. You can be more sociable this way, and around a lot more people.
9. Be an optimist. People flock to happy people like bees gather near honey. Find ways to be happy and positive.
10. Compliment people. It’s a great conversation-starter.

Tips

• Always believe in yourself.
• Believe that you are exactly who you want to be.
• Don’t act stuck-up. There is a difference between confidence and snobbery.
• Remember, being social does not mean being everyone’s friend. It is okay to be selective with friends and a little cautious. It’s safer that way and ensures you get quality friends, not quantity. The main test of if you should be friends is this: In general, do I feel good after being with this person? If not, your intuition is telling you something and it is time to move on.
• Compliment other people. What you compliment them on may lead to a conversation.
• Don’t over analyze what to say before saying it. One cannot stress how important this is. Almost everything you think about saying might sound stupid to you, but it usually isn’t. Just spit it out!
• Go with the flow (but only when you feel comfortable with it!)
• Be positive and happy which is a very attractive quality.
• Don’t fear rejection, and just believe that they don’t think anything about you, or know anything about you.
• Listen as much, if not more, than you talk. It shows you care about those around you and don’t want to take control.
• Walk up to others with a positive and cheery attitude. That shows them you’re pleasant and fun to be around.

Warnings

• Don’t mimic your friends exactly. Just identify the things you find helpful, and form them into your social routine. However, do this without losing your respect for them. If you become cocky about it, over-arrogance will somehow get mixed into what you assimilate from them, and that won’t be very social. Funny how that works. So respect them. They are just as good as you, in case you start to think you are better than them. This will keep your social life strong and productive.
• Don’t talk all the time just to not seem shy. This can become very annoying. Listen, then add to what the other person said.
• Try not to talk badly about others. Some of friendship is sharing gripes with others, and other people might be the source of these gripes, but be careful not to over do it — being “catty” or nasty will usually backfire and make you less appealing.
• Don’t be afraid to act silly or funny, but know where to stop.
• If that someone you want to be sociable to wants you to do something you know you shouldn’t be doing, say something against it! Not only will this show that you have good judgment, it will show that you are confident and that you respect yourself. But be careful, and don’t go extremely overboard…. but once again, know where to draw the line!
• Another thing that helps is trying to always be honest. If your friends are having trouble in their lives, (i.e. a drug addiction) tell them about how it’s affecting their lives, that is, if it’s a big problem in their lives.
• Don’t always give in to peer pressure, it’s a big turn-off, even if you are the most social person ever! It always leads to trouble, and if you stick out of the crowd, then people will think you are great to hang around, because you think for yourself. Choose for yourself what you think is right and wrong. People will usually like you even more because you have a back bone.
• Do not just talk to the same gender. Only mixing with the same gender is a common problem, whereas a sociable person will interact and get along with people of any gender, ethnicity or nationality.
• Do not ever be clingy toward someone you don’t know well. You will seem less social and likeable. This is actually how to lose friends.

Related wikiHows

• How to Socialize, Be Funny and Make Friends
• How to Be Social at a Party
• How to Be Sociable at Dinner Time
• How to Make a Social Phone Call
• How to Stand out at Social Gatherings and Parties
• How to Make Friends All over the World
• How to Be Fashionable at a Pool Party
• How to Be Kind

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Become Sociable. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

For many, socialization comes naturally. Some can walk up to a total stranger and spark up a meaningful conversation without a problem. For others, like my son with mosaic Down syndrome and Asperger syndrome, this is not an easy thing for him at all. These steps may help those who have trouble knowing what to do in social situations.

How to Socialize, Be Funny and Make Friends

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Making friends is not always easy. It depends on how outgoing you are. If you’re shy, then you need to build up your confidence to actually be popular. This guide might help you but what you really need is socializing skills and of course a cheerful smile.

Steps

1. Just be yourself. Don’t be afraid to express your opinions. If someone insults you, just ignore them.
2. Be optimistic. Even if you are feeling really down, remember that there’s always something out there to smile about. A positive outlook will make people want to be around you a lot more.
3. Crack a joke. (Having a sense of humor is important, but don’t get too carried away, there are some things you have to be serious about.If you joke about your friend in a rude way it could damage your relationship with them.)
4. Smile as much as you can! Signs of encouragement let people know you care about what they are saying.
5. Share interesting/silly ideas. Your thoughts can open up many doors that can lead to friendship.
6. Listen more than you talk. Instead of nodding and smiling and occasionally wiping the drool off your face, try to take what the person says and run with it. Add your own thoughts into the mix - but don’t hijack the conversation.
7. Start by doing little things if you are very reserved. For example, every time you go to school, work, or wherever, say hello to one person and have a one-on-one conversation with them.
8. Say “hello” to those that don’t talk much. (Share something about yourself, such as where you’re going or why you’re there. Avoid talking about the weather - as Tom Waits says, “Strangers talk about the weather.” Try to compliment them.
9. Don’t expect perfection out of anyone, especially yourself. For example, if you forget your own name while introducing yourself, just make fun of the situation.
10. Be Patient. If you are still among strangers, the apprehension of a conversation may cause a delay in comments. Don’t worry, that will go away in short order.
11. Talk to older people, maybe even your own folks. They will be less likely to ridicule you, therefore making it easier to learn to talk well.
12. Place importance on making social contacts. The people who are considered popular may not be the sharpest tacks in the box, but they are acquainted with important people who may contribute to their future careers. It is never too late to feel that being popular is important. If your work environment allows for it, host a party, organize a sports game, etc.
13. Love yourself. It is difficult to like others when you do not appreciate yourself for who you are. Try exercise to improve your self-esteem. Start your journey to “self-discovery.”
14. Be loyal. Little things count. If you make an appointment, be on time. If you’re in a group, show up early, and stay late (even if you don’t have anything to say at the moment).
15. Be nice to others. Always give compliments, but don’t try too hard. If you are shy, take a deep breath and risk it - you never know what might happen. Again, if you are shy on the outside but a little crazy on the inside, let it out once in a while. Wear your hair up high and spin around or dance. Others will laugh and find you funny and fun to be with.
16. Stand up for yourself/your rights. When someone is being too hard on you or perhaps showing signs of prejudice, speak up! Let it out in the open: “Why is it you’re so prejudiced?”
17. Be honest. Lying will make people not want to be your friend any more.
18. Respect everyone, no matter what they think or say. They are a person and deserve to be treated with respect. If you treat people well they will treat you the same..

Tips

• Everybody likes some attention, (even the shy ones). Pay a little attention to people, and they’ll repay you warmly. It doesn’t take much.
• Do not be selfish. Many think if they are generous their friends would take advantage of them. This is an absurd paradox. If your friends were taking advantage of you, you would see right through them, and they should not be considered your friend!
• Avoid saying something that could be taken the wrong way, but don’t over-analyze what you want to say. If you think about it too much, not only will you miss out on your chance to contribute to the conversation, but what you do end up saying might sound scripted and unnatural.
• Find people who share your interests. Get up and join a group that has similar interests. In that environment, it would be easier to meet people and make friends.
• Avoid prejudice, even among age. It is not impossible for a 20-year-old to be a friend to a 70-year-old. Don’t limit your possibilities.
• Earn some money. You’ll be able to go out and do more things, and if you get a job, you’ll meet more people there who have similar experiences.
• Surround yourself with people you want to be like.
• Be passionate about what you believe in - keep your own opinions and ideas.
• Take genuine interest in other people, and they will do the same for you.
• A great way to start a conversation with some one new is to ask advice. Everyone wants to show off a little and most likely they’ll be happy to help.
• Start out slowly with people. Begin conversations with open-ended questions like, “How’s it going?” and let the other person run with the conversation. Calibrate their initial response, to gauge whether they are responsive to more conversation.
• Don’t forget about your other friends! Introduce them to each other. That way, you’ll have more to talk about and your friends can make more friends, too.
• Sometimes people need a little coaxing. You might have to ask them “How are you?” and “What have have you been up to?” in succession before you get a deep enough response to bring about further conversation.
• People often underestimate how self-conscious other people are. When you interact with other people, remember that they can often make the conversation uncomfortable because of their own insecurities. The best thing to do is to be confident. Confidence gives you a greater vantage point in which to see the social inadequacies of other people.
• Aim to get respect from other people instead of their approval. People are attracted to the people that value themselves. If you are looking for other people’s approval then you are implicitly saying that “I value this person’s opinion of me, and valuation of me as my indication of worth.” You have to value yourself and not seek anyone else’s value assessment of you.
• Surround yourself with other people and you will attract more people. People take shortcuts, and in the absence of spending hours with you to find out who you really are, they look to see that you are liked by other people (it’s called social proof). As a result, they come to the conclusion, “if other people like you, then I suspect I can like you as well.”
• One thing that people like to talk about is sports. A good way to start a conversation is “Hey! How ’bout them (team)?” (If they are into sports that is)
• It’s easier to talk to people if you have shared an experience with them. Clearly the friends you have at the moment predominantly talk about interesting things they did in the past.

Warnings

• Don’t do anything negative in a group that you wouldn’t do by yourself. If something seems wrong, like picking on a guy or abusing an individual (even if the individual is a jerk), SPEAK UP, YELL, SHOUT EVEN and forget whatever others of the group might think. Who cares if they disagree or agree in general? When it comes down to it, do you really want to spend the rest of your life regretting not defending the man/woman that your friends humiliated? Is it worth it, the social acceptance vs. your morals and rights?
• Avoid self-destructive thoughts. Doing things that build talent and esteem will subdue such negativity.
• It is not necessary to accept the first person who comes along, as a friend. Judge them on their merits, not their appearance.
• Don’t try to say something just for the purpose of looking smart or funny. Most people would rather be friends with someone who comes off as being sincere, not someone just trying to show off. Make sure your humor comes naturally and isn’t forced.
• Not everybody likes a bubbly, social, funny personality. A lot of people probably like you just as you are!
• Be yourself. DON’T think about changing into someone else that you are not as you will not get respect that way. If you lie about something that you really don’t do, they’ll end up finding out & maybe everyone the next week won’t be into that anymore, so your best thing to do is talk about your own interests & ask them about theirs or any others they may have.
• The ‘key thing’ in a conversation is the word ‘you’. Ask them about themselves. DON’T go talking about yourself the whole time! If you notice you are saying “I” too much or are just talking about yourself, hurry up & finish that sentence & ask them about what they like. Example: “I like that singer’s style. What kinda music do you like?”
• Never put yourself down. Always be confident and other people will notice. Making a bad remark about yourself only makes it OK for other people to do so too.
• Watch late night comedy so you can develop a sense of how to make people laugh.
• Dont crack a joke every 5 seconds, people will think you’re annoying and wont want to hang around you
• Dont try too hard to be funny

Related wikiHows

• How to Be a Good Comedian
• How to Create a Friendship in 60 Seconds
• How to Be Popular
• How to Become Social
• How to Make Friends
• How to Have a Great Conversation
• How to Make Friends All over the World
• How to Be Good Natured and Loving
• How to Get Over Being Left Out
• How to Become Liked
• How to Be Fun to Be With
• How to Fix a Broken Friendship
• How to Come up With Good Conversation Topics
• How to Attract Friends
• How to Improve Yourself
• How to Clap Your Hands

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Socialize, Be Funny and Make Friends. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

I was looking for some information to help someone with mosaic Down syndrome understand social skills. This site was passed on to me and I found it very helpful. They also have a video that helps as well, but I could not get that to embed here. So, to see the video and other info, just click here.

I will add some more of these to help everyone who has trouble with Social Skills.

How to Be a Good Friend

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Have you found yourself pondering how to make that new person in your life be friends with you? Want to get closer and demonstrate your support, loyalty and love to your mates? Read on for ways to be a great buddy and in the process, show your pals how you would like to be treated, too.

Steps

1. Be real. Are you trying to be friends with someone to be accepted into a certain clique, or because you’d like to get to know someone else that he or she knows? That’s not friendship, it’s opportunism. Every new person you meet has the right to be accepted (or not) on his or her own merits, it’s better to just be yourself than let anyone else influence you into being someone you are not.
2. Be honest. A dishonest person has no chance of having true friends. Keep your promises, do what you say you are going to do, and most importantly, don’t lie! Lying leads to more lies, and people will eventually figure you out. If you found yourself lying about something, be honest - go up to them, tell them the truth and how you felt, as well as how you may think they would’ve felt (explain that you were second-guessing rather than trusting your friendship). Don’t be a coward; if you know you were at fault for the whole dilemma, own up. Simply talk about it, hope your friend will forgive you. They’d most likely appreciate it in the future, to look back and say, ‘wow!’ I have/had an amazing friend by my side. Never tell the truth if its going to hurt the other person.
3. Be loyal. If your friend tells you something in confidence, don’t blab about it to anyone else. Don’t talk about your friend behind his/her back. Nobody likes a backstabber. Never say anything about your friend that you would not want to repeat face to face. Don’t let others say bad things about your friend until you’ve had a chance to hear your friend’s side of the story. If someone says something that shocks you and doesn’t seem like a thing your friend would do or say, tell them, “I know him/her, and that just doesn’t sound right. Let me talk to him/her, find out his/her perspective on this. If it turns out to be true, I’ll let you know. Otherwise, I would appreciate it if you didn’t spread that around, because it might not be.” You can’t play both sides of the fence.
4. Be respectful. Know the boundaries. Things you and your friend discuss should be treated with care - your friend is not sharing this information with just anyone, and may not want to. She shared it with you - and only you, as far as you know. Example: If your friend doesn’t want to name her crush, don’t push her into it. If she has named her crush, don’t tell anyone else. This is just common courtesy anyone and everyone deserves the expectation that you will keep confidences.
5. Watch out for your friend. If you sense that s/he is getting drunk at a party, help him or her to get away from the alcohol. Don’t allow your friend to drive drunk - take his or her keys and/or drive your friend home personally. If your friend begins talking about running away or committing suicide, tell someone about it. This rule overrides the “respect privacy” step, because even if your friend begs you not to tell anyone, you should do it anyway. Suggest a help line or professional to your friend. Talk to your and your friend’s parents or spouse first (unless they are the ones causing the problems) before involving anyone else.
6. Pitch in for friends during times of crisis. If your friend has to go to the hospital, you could help pack his or her bags; if her/his dog runs away, help to find it, if he/she needs someone to pick him/her up, be there. Take notes for your friend in school and give them their homework assignments when they’re absent and sick at home. Send cards and care packages. If there is a death in his/her family, you might want to attend the funeral or cook dinner for them. Care about your friend enough to help him or her open up and let tears roll. Give them a tissue and listen. You don’t have to say anything, just be with them.
7. If your friend is going through a crisis, don’t tell them everything is going to be all right if it’s not going to be. This goes right along with keeping it real. It’s hard not to say this sometimes, but false reassurance can often be worse than none, and it may undermine your friend’s ability to get through the crisis as well as they might. Instead, tell your friend that whatever they need, you are there for them. If they need to talk, talk; if they need to sit quietly, sit with them; if they need to get their mind off things, take them to a movie or concert. Give them a hug. You are friends, not strangers, after all. Just stay honest, but upbeat and positive. Even a stranger would most probably appreciate it.
8. Give advice, add perspective. Don’t judge your friend, but do advise to stay out of situations where they may harm themselves or others. Tell him/her how you perceive his/her situation, and what you might do in the same circumstances. Don’t be offended if they listen to your advice and then decide to ignore it. Your friend must make his or her own decisions. Avoid saying “You should…”.
9. Give your friend space. Understand if he/she wants to be alone or hang out with other people. Allow it to happen. There’s no need to become clingy or needy. Friendship doesn’t require that you always have to be paired together. Allowing one another the time to hang with other friends gives you much-needed breathing room, and allows you to come together fresh and appreciating each other even more.
10. Never make a promise you know you can’t keep. Good friendship is based on trust - if you break a friend’s trust, the friendship may be very hard to salvage. Of course, if you have made a promise and planned to keep it, but circumstances beyond your control conspire to prevent it, let your friend know as soon as you find out. Don’t wait until 15 minutes after you were supposed to arrive to call and say, “gee, I’m sorry.” Instead, a quick call to say, “Hey, I know I promised to help you with whatever it is, but my mom is telling me we are going to my aunt’s for the weekend, and leaving tomorrow just after school - that means I won’t be able to make it. I’m so sorry. Can we reschedule?” That’s just honoring the fact that your friend is counting on you, and respecting the fact that, given a little notice, your friend might just be able to get someone else to help with whatever it was - or not, whatever. But at least you won’t be hanging your friend out to twist in the wind.
11. Listen to them. you don’t have to agree with them - just listen to what they have to say. Make sure they are talking too and you are not just running your mouth. Some people don’t really find it interesting listening to someone talk about their feelings 24/7. If you’re monopolizing every conversation with your feelings, they aren’t getting anything out of the friendship. Invite them to share their hearts with you as often as you share yours with them.
12. Don’t be selfish. Grabbing, stealing and begging are big NOs in the rules of friendship. The friend will soon get tired of this and eventually more towards more selfless people who are willing to give what they get.
13. Learn to share. As before, if you have a selfless friend, they will expect something back, even if they don’t make it obvious. This does not necessarily mean giving them large expensive presents. This can just mean being there for them when they need you.
14. Don’t abuse their generosity or “wear out your welcome” If your friend does something nice for you, then reciprocate. Money doesn’t have to be an issue. Don’t use your friends! Don’t let them pay every time you go out, even if they offer. Don’t help yourself to things at their house without asking, unless you are willing and they do the same at your house. No one wants to be friends with a moocher or feel used. If you borrow something from a friend, take good care of it and then return it without being asked. Also, if you end the friendship then you should return any gifts they bought for you, especially if they gave you any gifts under false pretences. It’s proper etiquette.
15. Live by the golden rule. Always treat a friend as you would want to be treated. If you don’t there will be repercussions. Don’t do or say anything to them that you wouldn’t want done to you. Be there for them through thick and thin as long as they are a TRUE friend to you. Also learn to forgive, and apologize. Dont be a brat!

Video

This video shows instructions slightly different than that described in the text steps above.

Tips

• If you are somewhere where there is a celebrity, get an autograph for your friend.
• Make sure your friend doesn’t have to spend a birthday alone. You can hold a party for them (even a surprise party if you can keep a secret) or take them out to dinner and pay for their meal.
• Have fun. It’s not all about bleeding hearts and advice to the lovelorn - or at least, it shouldn’t be. Decorate your friend’s locker on his or her birthday, have a spa party, host a sleepover, whatever. Join activities with them.
• You don’t have to spend a lot of money to be a good friend. The best gifts are often hand-made and come from the heart.
• Don’t set too many expectations and rules. That’s just trapping others in your dimension. Allowing your friendship to evolve and change naturally is really best - it allows your friend to be as unique and individual as you are, and for both of you to enjoy one another in that light.
• If someone is in any difficulty and he/she behaves in a way that’s very hurtful to you, then don’t be angry and try to understand their problems.

Warnings

• Don’t be needy and greedy by taking up all your friend’s time. This could get extremely annoying and irritating. He or she will want to separate from you if you become needy. Relax and trust in your friendship, and allow each other the freedom to be with each other, or with others, or just alone. You can’t decide for them.
• Don’t hang out with somebody because you’re both “nerds” or you’re both “geeks” or “partiers”. You don’t have to hang out with people just like you. Sometimes the weirdest friend combos make the best of friends. Any person can transcend a stereotype to be the most wonderful person you’ve ever met in your life - keep your mind open and form your own opinions.
• If your friend doesn’t treat you well while you treat them well, then there’s no reason why you shouldn’t expect the same treatment in return. Don’t stay close friends with one who doesn’t treat you well.

Related wikiHows

• How to Prove Your Friends Are Good
• How to Socialize, Be Funny and Make Friends
• How to Become Sociable
• How to Win Friends
• How to Be Friends With Guys

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Be a Good Friend. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

As you all know I have been crazy busy planning for our upcoming conference! I wanted to give y’all some important info so you don’t miss out. 

First of all, Next Friday, June 19th is the deadline for reserving your hotel room. We got a great room block at the Sheraton Cincinnati North Hotel & Indoor Water Resort. It is only $105 per night and for $12 per person you can enter the water park. You can book your hotel by going to our website. 

The conference registration deadline is Friday, June 26. After this, the fees will increase. You can register at our website.

Finally, please see below our press release. If you have a blog or an email list, please post this information for others to see. We are very excited to bring this to everyone and we would hate for anyone who would benefit from this conference to miss out!

See you in just a couple of weeks in Cincinnati!!

 
Keynote Speaker Congresswoman Cathy McMorris Rogers with husband and newborn son w/DS,  Cole

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE-June 11, 2009

Parents of children with Down syndrome (DS) are universally concerned about the wellbeing of their child’s health, future, and ability to connect with other DS families.  The Down Syndrome Association of Greater Cincinnati (DSAGC) hosts “Building Bridges for Down Syndrome”: the fourth biennial research and awareness conference presented by the International Mosaic Down Syndrome Association (IMDSA).

The term Down syndrome (DS) was named after Dr. Langdon Down, a British doctor who first described the condition in 1887.  This year marks the 50^th Anniversary of the discovery of the extra 21^st chromosome that causes Down syndrome.  DS is a genetic condition that occurs in one in every eight-hundred (800) births.  There are four types of Down syndrome:  Trisomy-21, Translocation, Mosaic, and Mosaic-Translocation. 

The Down syndrome community has leapt many hurdles in paving the way for future generations, but there is still a lot of work to do.  The attendees of this biennial research and awareness conference are empowered with information, hope for the future of all individuals with DS, and are given the opportunity to participate in various research studies being conducted onsite during the conference.  Teens and adults with DS, along with their siblings, will learn everything from how to manage a budget to relationships and friendships in the “Teen and Adult Conference.”  Children ages 2-12 with DS along with their siblings, will learn a variety of subjects: Acting and Puppetry to Bullying to Stranger Danger in the “Kid Konference.”  Students interested in professional careers pertaining to DS will supervise these youngsters; giving them a better understanding of what DS really means for these individuals.  Together, families and professionals will enjoy the “Friday Night Family Reunion & Silent Auction” with entertainment from The Amazing Portable Circus and self-advocates Sujeet Desai, Tim Colvin, and Casey Morton.

Some attendees of the 2007 conference held in Richmond, VA said, “At the IMDSA’s Conference, there’s a sense of family the moment you step through the doors, everyone is welcoming.  I’ve learned so many things from all the speakers!” 

Join IMDSA and DSAGC Friday, July 10 through Sunday, July 12 at the Sheraton Cincinnati North Hotel and Indoor Water Resort in Sharonville, Ohio for a fully scheduled weekend of information, family fun, socialization, and entertainment by Sujeet Desai, Dan Kulp, Tim Colvin, and Casey Morton.  Over 30 experts will discuss various topics that will beneficial to the betterment of all families of children and adults with DS.  This is a life-span conference with topics pertaining to all ages of people with DS.  Researchers and professionals will also benefit greatly by attending.  There will be many great activities, workshops, and sharing of information.  A sure highlight of the weekend will be the “Family Awards and Celebration Banquet and Dance” with self-advocate Jennifer Katz and comedian/musician Dan Kulp. 

Reservations are filling fast and space is limited, so register and reserve your spot today!  For more information on how to register, visit www.imdsa.org

 # # #

The International Mosaic Down Syndrome Association (IMDSA) provides support, information, and research to any family, individual, or professional whose life has been affected by mosaic Down syndrome. Its Research & Awareness Conference provides support, information and research to all forms of Down syndrome.

Contact:

Kristy Colvin

IMDSA President

Email: president@imdsa.org

Toll free:  1-888-MDS-LINK

Web:  www.imdsa.org

The most asked question of all young parents of children with mosaic Down syndrome and for that matter parents of children with any form of Down syndrome is “What will my child’s future be like?” As parents, we all have that stigma embedded into our brains and the worry follows close behind.

Of course, there is no way to predict any child’s future. For me, and many others, we just take it day by day. There is a scripture in the bible that says, “Don’t worry about tomorrow, because today has enough trouble of its own. Matt. 6:34″ This is something I have lived by, or at least tried to, throughout my children’s lives. They have taught me that there are no certainties. There are no guarantees. You just do your best and give your children the most opportunities possible, you don’t hold them back and they will blossom to whatever that may be!

About 7 years ago, my friend Susan did just that. Her daughter Melissa graduated High School, got married to her sweetheart, moved all the way to Maryland (from Texas) and she and her husband Adam opened a cafeteria that they still run today. Melissa has mosaic Down syndrome. Her husband, Adam is Blind. 

I held my breath!

I couldn’t imagine my child moving across the country away from me. I guess I am a worrier. I admired Susan for being able to let go the way she did and let Melissa live her life. 

A few years passed and Melissa and Adam had their first child-a girl! Marianne is beautiful and Melissa is a fantastic mother and Adam is a great dad! 

Your first question…. I know…. No… Marianne does not have Down syndrome. Melissa’s affected cells are not in her reproductive organs.

In 2007, Melissa and Adam came to our Research & Awareness Conference where Melissa was our keynote speaker for the banquet.  Last year, they began making plans to attend this year’s conference! However, their plans were changed. 

Like I said…. You never know what the future will hold!

Instead of attending the conference they will be taking care of their new son Adam John. Little AJ was born Friday April 3rd at 9:22am. He weighed 8 lbs and 12 oz and was 21 inches long. Mother and baby are both doing good. AJ has a bit of jaundice and a small Cleft pallet, but he is simply beautiful and already very alert for a newborn! Marianne is loving her new baby brother and everyone is very happy and proud to have him in the family!

I promised Melissa that I would not share pictures of her right after birth! I know what I looked like after my kids were born and although I think Melissa looks beautiful even right after giving birth, there is no way that I would do that to any mother! So, here is a picture of Melissa and Adam at our 2007 conference at our after banquet dance.

The picture I am dying to share with you is this one! 

Marianne with her new baby brother AJ.

No one knows what the future will bring. But with opportunities ANYTHING is possible!

Congratulations Adam and Melissa! You have the most beautiful children! I wish you all the best!

On July 10-12 the Down Syndrome Association of Greater Cincinnati will host IMDSA’s Down Syndrome Research & Awareness Conference . This is actually 5 conferences in one.

1. Families and Individuals  participate in research with various Down syndrome researchers (by appointment)
2. Down Syndrome Association Board Members workshop allows DSA board members to network and learn more to help run their DSA’s.
3. Research & Awareness Conference allows families and professionals the opportunity to learn from over 30 experts in the Down syndrome field through 4 ongoing breakout sessions throughout the weekend.
4. Children ages 2-12 (sibs included) have fun at Kid Konference while students get hands on experience to enhance their careers.
5. Teens ages 13-adult (sibs included) enjoy themselves while learning great things at the Youth Conference

With our early registration deadline quickly approaching on March 31st I want to be sure that I tell you as much as I possibly can concerning the conferences.

Many have asked about the Youth Conference. This is for ages 13-adult and siblings are included and will also learn and have fun!

We have broke this into three themed tracts and youth can choose which workshops they wish to attend. We are still working on the finalization of this conference schedule, but to give you a general idea of the topics we are looking to be addressed, here are just a few of them:

Tract 1 Recreation and Leisure:

• Social Networking
  
• Acting and Movement
  
• Sports - Special Olympics
• Yoga
  
• Karate

Tract 2 Planning for the Future:

• Independent Planning
• Self-Advocacy
  
• Leadership opportunities
• Transitioning to College
• Money Management

Tract 3 Personal Living:

• Self Defense and Community Safety
• Special Friends Online
• Relationships
• Music and Singing
• Jobs & Careers
• Hygiene and Personal Care

The folks at Starfire U have been fantastic at planning this Youth Conference for us! I am very excited about all the possibilities for our Youth Conference this year and from past experiences, the youth who attend our conference not only learn very valuable information to help them with their lives, they also form lasting friendships that carry over far after this conference has ended!

To find out more information about the Down Syndrome Research & Awareness Conference and how to get financial assistance to attend, please click here to visit our website.

It is hard to believe that we have been planning for our Down Syndrome Research & Awareness Conference  for ten months now! No wonder I am so tired!

On April 1, 2009, the conference registration prices will go up. Not considerably so, but this is our early registration deadline and the price will change. 

Many ask, how much it cost to attend the conference.  Well, it depends on how many you have coming with you!

If you register before March 31 and you are a member of IMDSA, the registration for the main conference is less expensive than those who are not members. However, you can become a member for only $25 and this will give you a free subscription to our quarterly newsletter MOSAIC WORLD that is packed with information pertaining to not only mosaic Down syndrome but also Down syndrome. These articles are all very helpful in raising your child no matter how old or young they are. You also will receive discounts such as this and our information packet full of info and inspiration. If you wish to become a member, even for the discount, that is ok with us! You can click here for more details. 

To register, click here for details.

We realize that many people are struggling right now to make ends meet and we want more than anything for you to be able to attend this conference! We are, doing all we can to help make it as easy and affordable as possible.  To make this easier, we have compiled a list of possible organizations that may help you attend the conference. Don’t be shy about this! Many organizations have funds set aside to help you attend conferences such as ours! So, please utilize this list!

IMDSA is offering two (2) conference scholarships to IMDSA members. Please click here for more details.

DSAGC is offering scholarships to families in their immediate area to attend this conference. Please click here for more details.

There are many organizations that have funds set aside to help families like yours attend conferences that will enhance your parenting to your child with special needs. If you live within the United States of America please click these agencies below and ask them if they have financial assistance available to help your family attend this conference.

Down Syndrome Associations

The Lion’s Club

The ARC

United Way

Developmental Disabilities Council

Yellow Pages for Kids

If you live outside of the United States and have a current VISA or Passport contact the following organizations and ask them if they have financial assistance available to help your family attend this conference.

Down Syndrome Associations

The Lion’s Club

United Way

If you have not yet seen our presenter list you can click here for that.

I am very excited about our upcoming conference and I do hope that I can meet all of you there! If you have any questions, just ask!