May 18 2009
23 years ago today…
23 years ago today I was lying on a narrow hospital bed waiting for my baby’s lungs to develop before delivery for the next day. The next day, was D-Day. This day would mark 32 weeks in my pregnancy. Throughout my pregnancy I had Placenta Previa-basically this means that my placenta was falling out. So, I was put on bed rest and when I continued to have trouble I was admitted indefinitely into the hospital and had been there for a month before my water broke-which marked my indefinite D-Day.
I was young-only 20 yrs old. It never occurred to me that babies died. It never occurred to me that having a premature baby was a dangerous thing. It never occurred to me that at 20 years old, I would come face to face with death-not just for my baby, but also for myself. And, it never occurred to me that my baby would be born with anything out of the ordinary.
Oh sure, I knew these things happened….to other people.
So, 23 years ago today I lain on this hospital bed in a “semi-private” labor room in which I had various “room mates” for my three-day stay. I watched them come and go and it never occurred to me that within the next 24 hours my life would change forever.
On May 19, 1986 I had a beautiful baby boy. I wasn’t able to see him till the day after he was born because I was too weak and far to sick from the loss of blood since I had refused a transfusion because of the high risk of AIDS in transfusions back then.
Having a baby changes your life. This one definitely changed mine. I could say it was because I was near death. Or even because he was too. But that is just where the story begins. It wasn’t life-altering at that moment. Probably because I was far too young to realize the true danger that we were both in. Even when my doctor came in to my room with tears in his eyes as he explained that I was dying and there was nothing more that he could do, it never occurred to me that I would actually die. And thankfully, only by God’s grace, I didn’t die. And neither did my baby.
The beginning of my life-altering moment came 2 years later with a blood test that revealed that my beautiful baby boy had a few extra chromosomes. The moment when they told me that he had mosaic Down syndrome and there was nothing in the literature; no book, no pamplet, not even a flyer, that could tell me what to expect with this diagnosis, my life changed.
Many would think that my life changed for the worse. After all, I had no information, I had no one to talk to and compare notes, I had no support. But I had my “Mommy Instincts”. And as the years went by, I realized that raising a child with mosaic Down syndrome was no different than raising any other child really. Sure, we had to make up some rules as we went along! Definitely, I had a few Pity Parties throughout the years. But the thing I learned the most is, having a child with extra chromosomes is no different than having any other child. And I have others to compare it to!
23 years ago tomorrow, my tiny 4 lb 4 oz baby boy was born via Emergency C-section. He had his Mommy’s dark brown eyes and was so tiny that his 6 inch high Teddy Bear was more like a Grizzly to his small frame. He loved to snuggle up to me and fall asleep while I rocked him gently in the squeaky old wooden rocker in the “growers room” at NICU. I loved the way he would yawn and crinkle up his face like a miniature wrinkled old man. I loved the way he smelled when I held him and when I had to leave him I would smell my shirt for the rest of the day-just to try to stay close.
Now, 23 yrs later, that tiny baby is a grown man who takes care of his mom. He is always sensitive to my needs and jokes that he is amazed that I lived through his hyper-active years. He says that he is glad that he has mosaic Down syndrome because without it, he wouldn’t be the person he is today.
I know that if Tim did not have mosaic Down syndrome, I would not be the person I am today. I would not be as strong as I am. I would not have the knowledge that I do. I would not have the wonderful extended family that I have. And, International Mosaic Down Syndrome Association would not exist the way that it does. Families would still be left out in the cold wondering what this means for their children.
Tomorrow is my baby’s 23rd birthday. For this special day, I have a very important announcement that you may not want to miss.




