MOSAIC MOMENTS

With Sarah Palin being in the spotlight now because of the announcement of her being chosen as John McCain’s running mate for the upcoming presidential election, many writers have made comments on her decision to keep her baby even though she and her husband Todd knew that he would be born with Down syndrome.

I find it quite sad that people are considered huge heroes for not aborting their babies when they are told the baby has Down syndrome. And, although I find it quite sad, I do understand the reason behind the hero-worship.

90% of babies with Down syndrome are aborted in America. These numbers fall in the same range for most other countries and in Spain the number is a staggering 98%.

The reason for this—misinformation to parents from doctors and fear of the unknown.

Today, Chris was thinking the same things that I was thinking without even knowing it. And in her blog Mothering By The Seat of My Pants today, she openly voiced her thoughts about what she would do if she had known her little boy would have had Down syndrome before she gave birth to him.

Here is Chris’ story….

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If I Had The Choice

I lament the 90% termination rate of those who receive a prenatal diagnosis.

It is easy for me to say those women made the wrong choice.  

Easy for me to urge them to have their child.

I didn’t have a prenatal diagnosis.

I didn’t have a choice.

I never stood in their shoes.

If I had known, what would I have done?

It is easy for me to say now that I would have chosen to have my child.  Easy for me to cast the first stone at those who don’t make that choice, but if I’m being honest…

It would not have been easy for me.

I would have been devastated.

I would have felt like I had already lost my child.

I have been scared to have a child with Down syndrome.

I would have been scared of what effect it could have on my very happy family.

I would have done research.

I would have seen all of the beautiful faces, seen their accomplishments, seen their happy families.

I would have realized that my child could be happy, could accomplish a lot of things.

I would also have come across some that were not so happy.

Children who were not doing so well.

Children who were thriving.

Parents who were hurting.

Parents who were celebrating.

I would have seen those children with the severe medical conditions.

Families spending weeks in and out of hospitals.

I would have seen the prejudice.

I would have seen the hope.

I would have wondered about the future.

I would have been afraid.

I would have tried to be optimistic.

I would have wanted it all to go away.

I would have had the power, the choice, to make that happen.

I could have had an abortion.

I could have had a life without Down syndrome.

I could have had a life without John.

If that happened, I would have lost a part of my soul.  

Life would not have gone on as usual.

Life would be forever changed.

I would have been a different person.

A selfish person.

A weak person.

A scared person.

A person who was not willing to embrace all life had to offer.

I often think how it would have easier now if we had “chosen” to have our child with Down syndrome.  If we had been given the choice prenatally, and said, “Yes, we can do it”, instead of being thrust unknowingly into this world.

I am often thankful that we didn’t have the choice.  What if we had given into our fears and said, “We can’t do it”?   What if we had given to our own selfishness and said, “We don’t want to do it”?

Despite the pain the diagnosis still causes me, I know that having an abortion would have been the wrong choice, a choice that in the end, despite the fear, I still don’t think I ever could have made. 

Granted, I sometimes still feel like “we can’t do it”, but then John reminds me that, “Yes, we can.” 

We can choose to embrace life…all it has to offer…the good and the bad…not always an easy thing to do…but in the end, the best choice.  

The only choice.

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Thank you Chris for sharing this story in such a heartfelt way! It is never easy to raise any child, and raising a child with special needs can often be scary only because of the unknown! John is very lucky to have such a special mom!