MOSAIC MOMENTS

There is an old saying that says, “If the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning is eat a live frog, then nothing worse can happen for the rest of the day!”

This morning, I should have eaten a live frog before I did anything else! Because, maybe then, things wouldn’t have seemed so bad…

Our morning started out quite early because I had an appointment with the Orthopedic Surgeon for Tim. The appointment was at 9:45 am, however, because we live in the middle of nowhere, it is a one-hour drive to see any specialists or do any shopping for that matter. So, usually when we have appointments or errands to run, we try to get them all done in one trip.

Two weeks ago, when Tim and Garrett went on their Youth Retreat, Tim stepped wrong and hurt his ankle. However, to better understand why this was causing him trouble, I first have to back up just a bit to explain the trouble in the first place.

Twelve years ago, when Garrett was a day from being one-month-old, Arron and Tim were riding on an ATV four-wheeler. Arron swerved and (I will spare you the gory details) the ATV flipped and Tim had a compound fracture of both bones in his lower leg.

To make matters worse, as if they were not bad enough, the life-flight helicopter took Tim to, in my opinion, the worse hospital in the area. So, instead of inserting pins and screws, (a standard procedure for such a severe break) they put him back together and stitched him up! To make an already too long story–short, we wound up going to another hospital weeks later to have him repaired once again to the best of their ability. However, he does still have trouble now and then.

Which leads me back to today and the reason I realized I should have eaten a live frog this morning!

Two weeks ago, when this first happened, I called our doctor and they referred me to this Orthopedic Surgeon and told me to call and make an appointment. I did and then called my primary doctor back and told the incompetent receptionist to tell the nurse to fax over the referral so we could be seen.

Apparently, this receptionist was far too busy filing her nails, or whatever it is that she does all day, because the message never was relayed.

So, this morning, after the one-hour-drive, I was told they couldn’t see Tim because they had no referral! They suggested I call the doctor because when they tried they couldn’t get past the incompetent receptionist who had told them that they had not seen Tim in a real long time, so they couldn’t send the referral! (Tim, by the way, was seen about four weeks ago!)

So, I called the incompetent receptionist and she refused to give me a referral and said that the doctor AND the nurse were both on vacation, so no one could give me a referral.

I counted to ten… It didn’t work…. I counted to twenty…. still nothing!

I asked the incompetent receptionist why she couldn’t have the other doctor in the office just sign the referral since it was obvious that I was sent there by the doctor in the first place.

I guess she started filing her nails, because she didn’t answer me.

Finally, she said that I could call back on Monday and make an appointment with the doctor (who wont be in for another week) and then I could get the referral.

“I am here NOW” I said through clenched teeth, which caused the assistants in the office to lean a little closer in hopes to hear my conversation.

Again, the incompetent receptionist began filing her nails.

I hung up the phone. I didn’t say good bye, I didn’t say anything at all! I just hung up!!

The eager assistants were sympathetic to my dilemma. It wasn’t their fault that this incompetent receptionist lived on the planet with the rest of us! She suggested that as soon as I get a referral I could call and make an appointment.

“I should have eaten a live frog this morning” I tell her.

Dumbfounded, she isn’t sure what to say.

She thinks I am crazy.

Maybe I am.

I assure her that I will return!

It’s a good thing Tim’s leg isn’t broken right now…. we would definitely have a problem.

We walk out of the office and I am infuriated.

Garrett, in all his glory, says “Mom needs a hug”

I did…. he was right

They both hug me…. I count some more…. It doesn’t help

“I should have eaten a live frog this morning” I tell them.

Tim, always taking things as literal as possible, is totally grossed out by the whole thought of that and begins to tell me about the dangers of eating such things.

Garrett on the other hand, thinks the whole idea of his mom eating a live frog is a cool idea and tries to come up with ways to help me with that!

Still fuming as we make our way through the parking lot, Garrett suggests that I say a cuss word. In his twelve year old mind, he finds that cuss words must be the answer to everything when things go wrong.

How I long for those days when the worse thing he could think of saying was Big Bad Bunny Head!

“No” I tell him, “cussing isn’t the answer.” However, I must admit, that in my mind words much worse words than “Big Bad Bunny Head” were going through my mind.

I would continue with this story and how the rest of my day went. In fact, I attempted to do that earlier this evening when I finally made it home after a full day of school shopping.

By the way…. how many 12 yr old boys wear a size 9 men’s shoe? This growing spurt is getting out of control!

With each attempt to complete my story for today, I had repeated trouble with my brand-new computer! So, all that was written was lost, more than once and after talking with Dell a couple of hours, perhaps this problem is resolved.

I told the representative that I knew I should have eaten a live frog this morning.

She, too, was worried about my sanity!

Tomorrow, before I do anything else….. I will eat a live frog! I think it is probably the best way to start your day!