MOSAIC MOMENTS

As parents, it is our job to teach our children right from wrong. It is also important to remember that punishment and discipline are two totally different things!

Punishment is the act or instance of punishing

Discipline is training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.

The whole reason for discipline is to teach your child the right things to do. And, if your child does something wrong, it is important to remember that your main goal is to teach them the correct behavior that is appropriate and acceptable.

There are 5 simple rules to help you better help your child.

Rule #1: NEVER discipline your child when you are angry. This turns into punishment and never teaches the child what is expected of them.

Rule #2: Always explain to your child what they did wrong and what they should do in the future.

Rule #3: If a punishment is necessary to teach your child what is expected be sure to use a punishment that fits with the behavior that was unacceptable.

Rule #4: Never give empty threats. I often hear parents telling their child, “If you do that again, I will….” and so when the child does it again, the parent says the same thing…”If you do that again, I will….” By doing this, the child learns that you are not going to follow through with your threat and so they continue with the behavior. If you aren’t going to really do what you say you are going to do, DON’T SAY IT!

Rule #5: Be an example. Your children are watching your every move and if you do something that you wouldn’t want them to do, they are confused at what is expected. Sometimes we all mess up! If you do, explain to your child that what you did was wrong and that you will try to do better.

Examples on discipline:

Example: If your child doesn’t wake up in the morning as quickly as expected, tell them they will go to bed 30 minutes earlier that night. Each time this happens, add 30 minutes more to their bed time. Trust me…. you will have kids flying out of bed and ready to go way before the appointed time if you are consistent with this!

Another Example to help you understand is:
If your child steals candy from the store, you wouldn’t take away their video games or their playing privileges because that wouldn’t teach them about why it is wrong to steal. Instead, you would make them return the item and apologize to the store owner. Then you could explain that the reason that stealing is wrong, (other than God says Thou Shalt Not Steal) is that the store owner has to pay for the merchandise and by taking it without paying they make the store owner have to pay for it.

Make the punishment fit the crime and be sure that you are truly disciplining your child instead of just punishing him or her for what they have done.

Children are not necessarily trying to be bad, they are just learning what you have learned in your 20+ years in the world.

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