MOSAIC MOMENTS

Years ago, when Tim had just recently been diagnosed with mosaic Down syndrome and ADHD, my older son, Arron was six years old and playing baseball.

During one of his games, as the children sat in the dugout waiting their turn to bat, one of Arron’s team mates picked up a bat and was hitting the other children in the head with the bat. Thankfully, the boys were all wearing their batting helmets in anticipation of their turn at bat. However, they were still complaining and could still feel the bat vibrating through their helmets.

Not able to take the scene any longer, I got up and calmly asked the boy to stop. He looked at me as though I was speaking alien to him and said, “NO! I don’t have to!”

So, I turned to his mother, who had been watching the same scene this whole time, and told her that she needed to get her son to stop hitting the children.

Her reply… “He can’t help it. He has ADHD.”

I took a deep breath and counted to 10…. twice….

I told her that my son had mosaic Down syndrome and ADHD and I would NEVER allow him to hit another child, especially with a bat!

I explained that no matter what a child has, they still HAVE to behave and they still are expected to live with society.

She didn’t get it. She had that poor me and my poor son attitude and I often wonder if that child is now in the state prison system.

By making excuses for your child’s behavior and not correcting them when they are wrong, they will never learn the difference between right and wrong nor will they be able to live within society or have relationships with others because their behavior is unacceptable.

This is not to say, that you child wont act up, If they have a disability that impairs their behavior in some way, perhaps they have trouble understanding consequences for their actions, maybe they are impulsive and have trouble thinking things through first, but regardless of what the problem is, by making excuses for their actions, you are not helping your child what-so-ever! You are, in fact, hurting them.

Tim had all these problems, and he acted up throughout school. However, the difference is, I NEVER allowed excuses for his behavior. I expected him to behave like his peers and when he did not, he was disciplined. Eventually, he understood how to control his impulses and he understood that no matter what, if he wanted friends, he had to BE a friend.

Making excuses, no matter what the situation, will hurt your child’s future.

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