Jun 22 2008
Parenting 101: Raising a Happy Family
My husband Glenn and I are probably a rare breed. We are blissfully happy in our marriage and rarely do we disagree with one another. However, when those moments do arise where we do not agree with one another, we never raise our voices are spat unkind words. We love each other and I have a hard time understanding why other couples tend to yell and scream at one another or say hurtful things that they don’t really mean just because they have had a disagreement.
Why are we this way?
Mainly it is because of our kids!
Children need to know that the parents are in control of the situation, no matter what the situation is. And, when they see their parents yelling and saying mean things to one another, they get very confused and can see that their parents have lost control!
As parents, we teach our children to say kind things to their friends and not yell and scream and throw fits. However, when the parents have a disagreement, they are doing exactly what they have taught their child not to do!
Glenn and I do, on occasion, disagree. When these disagreements take place, we go to our bedroom and close the door and talk about it. Yes, we are mad! But the reason we are mad usually is because we want the other to see it our way. We talk quietly…sometimes through clenched teeth, but we do not raise our voices at one another.
Another “Golden Rule” for Glenn and I is if one of us disagrees with the way the other has parented one of our boys we do NOT discuss it in front of our children! We feel as though if we contradicted one another in front of the boys, then the boys would play us against each other. Also, they would loose respect for the parent that was contradicted. They don’t need to know that we disagreed with the parenting. And, if we did, we would discuss it away from them and come to a compromise.
Finally, because our boys never see us argue, we let them know that there are times that we do disagree with one another. We don’t want them to grow up thinking that everything is wonderful and no one ever disagrees! Because, when they get married they would be very surprised! But, we are instilling in them that you should hold the utmost respect for the one you claim to love for eternity and you should never intentionally hurt the ones you love!
One Response to “Parenting 101: Raising a Happy Family”
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Your right …
children should not be exposed to mom & dad fighting. But, as you said, it is healthy for them to see positive ways of resolving conflicts.
It seems like many couples forget to put as much effort into their marriage as they do raising their children.